I recently wrote an article based on the money and looks topic, and it was a received well. Now we are going to continue the theme, but this time with a listicle of random facts solidifying why money has a greater weighting in relationships. The moral of this post doesn’t mean money is everything, but it just puts things in perspective to see the facts as to why money is so important in today’s world. Money and relationships go hand and hand, and if your perceived to not have any mula, the dates will dry up like the Sahara Dessert.
I cant fathom how or why our culture is shifting so far into money being a prerequisite to dating someone. Hey if you have millions and look physically unappealing, I know for a fact that you can get a model to date you. If someone drives a fancy car it is assumed that the driver is well off. If you travel constantly and post Yolo all over Instagram, you’ll probably get more than a few invitations to date.
Its about time we ask a serious question. What do you love more – The Money or the Relationships?
Money and Relationships and why Money has more weight than it seems in Relationships:
The number 1 cause of divorce is money fights / arguments
If you fight over money once a week as a couple, you have a 30% greater chance of separating.
Having good Credit is viewed as a must in order to get serious with new love interest.
A Divorce can drag on for years, unless the exact $$ settlement is given. Then all is forgotten and no more court appearances required. (Everyone is gone with the Wind)
Someone with a luxury car is perceived to have greater wealth and may get greater attention as a single person.
A poll was released that people who openly reveal income amounts above 250K annually get 3 times as many date emails on dating websites.
After years of relationship bliss and love, if one person messes up big time with money, it can lead to a break up.
People commit financial infidelity and keep money and purchases away from the love of their life (So who do you love more)
Millionaires are approached more often compared to non- rich singles no matter how the person looks
Products and gifts are purchased in greater numbers instead of buying experiences from 1 spouse to another for Christmas and birthdays.
Love has nothing to do with money, but people put money as a prerequisite to finding love. (Sad but True)
Can you believe some of the facts listed above? It is unfortunate that after being married for many years spouses have to hide purchases away from their loved ones. Financial infidelity is a real issue affecting many couples, and I don’t know why anyone would place things or the thrill of buying things above their loved ones.
This is why I asked above who do you love more, the money, the things you bought with the money, or the spouse?
We didn’t get married to the master card, so do not put a spouse above the almighty credit cards.
What can you do to be a better supporter of relationships and place money as a secondary thing in a relationship.
-Respect each other to be open and honest about any financial information
-Do not judge those who might appear to not have any money and get to know them before saying No
-Don’t commit financial infidelity because it gives money all the power.
-Take time to communicate any money issues you are having with a spouse without getting emotional
– Seek out cool experiences over things when gift giving.
Comment if you find the info in Money and Relationships alarming?
What else can you add to the Money and Relationship advice list?
Rich Uncle EL
In some of the examples you list its a matter of trust between the couple if a spouse is spending and hiding these purchases from their partner, what others things might they they be up too? For me it wouldn't be the money being spend it's more about how its being spend.
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That’s true but money is so touchy from person to person, that certain people don’t want many restrictions on their income. Also many couples actually don’t combine checking accounts so its easier to get away with things. Thanks for commenting.
The one piece of advice I offer people with respect to money and marriage is be on the same page. Too often people assume that the other person has the same goals and is committed to the same plan. Constant communication, and working together on developing and executing the financial plan is a must. With respect to money and other relationships (brothers, sisters, children, etc.) I suggest people never loan money.
I am not suggesting that someone should never help friends and family in the form of monetary assistance. I am simply saying that they should consider it a gift vice a loan. A loan implies that the money should be repaid at some point in the future. There are two reasons why I believe this is a practice better avoided. First, money has a tendency to put a strain on relationships, particularly if the recipient has a difficult time repaying the loan or is late with repayment. They are stressed because of their desire to repay the loan, and the giver is stressed because they had expectations of repayment, and likely, a plan for using the loaned funds for some other purpose. Second, the practice can be disruptive to their financial planning.
Once a financial plan has been established and someone has identified the amount they need to invest on a monthly basis to meet their goals, their first priority should be to fund their savings/investment accounts first. If a situation arises and they have determined that a family or friend has a sincere need for financial assistance, and providing that assistance will not impact their plan, they should assist with a gift vice a loan. I assure you that if someone loans a family member $300 of the $500 they were going to commit to their Roth IRA one particular month and they are not able to repay the loan, they are going to feel bad, the giver is going to feel resentment, and they will be $300 – not even counting the compound interest you will not have earned – further from their objective. Conversely, if someone finds that they have an additional $150 at their disposal after meeting their monthly financial goals, and they can assist a family member with a gift of half the $300 they may need, they will be very appreciative, the gift giver will be glad they could assist, and there is no chance for resentment and strain on the relationship. Once the lender writes that check for $150 it is forgotten forever and they can move on and prepare to meet their next month’s goal.
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Jc good points and the communication aspect is spot on, also loaning money is a risky move we all should avoid. Thanks for commenting.